Ghosts and Ghouls: How to RIP Amidst Unfinished Business
It is finally October, which brings about my favorite spooky season. A season in which ghosts, goblins, and ghastly ghouls once again become acceptable topics of conversation. I could talk about spectacular spooks every day of the year, (which may soon start, on Travel Therapy’s Youtube channel!). With their spooky groans, the flickering lights, and their unfinished business, ghosts bring about intrigue and a frightening possibility to an otherwise unspectacular realm. Many people fear ghosts. Maybe because they think of scary stories or movies like The Exorcist, Rosemary’s Baby, The Conjuring, and others.
For some, supernatural tales are nothing more than “hogwash,” holding no more truth than a fairy tale. Regardless of the naysayers and their debunking, the fact is that ghost stories have been around forever. Many people through many generations have told tales of the strange and supernatural, often with no apparent, logical explanation. It makes one wonder, if perhaps there is something to the centuries of ghost stories, after all. It seems odd that so many similarities across time and culture would occur by coincidence, right? If ghosts are real, what should we do about it, if anything?
For my fellow horror enthusiasts out there, we know that often there is a goal in each ghost story. Often, the goal is to help the ghost solve a problem, or to resolve their “unfinished business.” That’s pretty #relatable! For many of us, it can be challenging to rest while there is unfinished business. In this way, we (the living) are not dissimilar from our spooky afterlife acquaintances.
How can we RIP (rest in peace) amidst unfinished business?
For a ghost, maybe that unfinished task is telling a living loved one where to find an old trinket. Maybe our unfinished business is the mountain of clean, unfolded laundry that looks like a monstrous silhouette in the dark of the night.
Maybe we are plagued by a pesky to-do list item that stirs dread at the thought of it. Either way, unfinished business can pound in our brains like the sound of a loudly-pounding heart that should have been long silenced. That was a little hint at The Tell-Tale Heart. (Edgar Allen Poe readers? Anyone? Anyone?).
I personally find it very difficult to rest amidst unfinished business. This is especially true if my surrounding space is not tidy and visually pleasing. If my space is cozy, inviting, clean, and warmly lit, I am totally in a peaceful, zen, hygge state of mind. Alternatively, if there is an unmade bed, piles of laundry, dirty dishes, etc. I will feel stressed and unable to fully relax. I will have to “fix” the annoying mess or unsightly issue before I can chill. (Maybe I’m a tad OCD, but hey, I’m working on it. Therapy is for everyone!)
We know that physical environments have a direct influence on our mental health, as explained in various studies. This has been proven in different capacities and parsed down to differing levels of detail. One study concluded that even the shapes and lines of items around us have the ability to impact our level of peace and happiness. Other studies have found that the presence of live plants yield improvements in mood and mental health. The goal is to get to a point of inner peace so that our outer environment is not able to negatively impact overall happiness. We, being in the realm of the living, have an opportunity to figure out how to set our unfinished business aside, and keep on enjoying life.
How do we truly rest in peace in our daily life, when so many things demand our attention?
An important first step, that ghosts don’t have to worry about (lucky ghoulies), is remembering to unplug.
Our devices and digitalized world really don’t do us any favors when it comes to mental health. Aside from providing peaceful Pinterest boards, our little robot pals tend to bring about more unrest and distraction than they do peace and balance. More research continues to surface, confirming that frequently checking devices, emails, etc. is strongly correlated to increased levels of stress in adolescents, and in many cases, adults also. So, a first step towards removing the burden of unfinished business is remembering to unplug.
Another helpful tidbit, is to focus on finding peace.
Find some quiet, focused, peaceful time. We can do this through meditation, exercise, or through channeling a spirit at a seance (just kidding; 10/10 do NOT recommend channeling spirits. If you watch horror movies, then you know what seances lead to!)
Personally, I find great peace through exercise, specifically cycling. When the weather is nice (which this recent autumn weather IS), I can take off on my bike, and completely forget all of my woes. I was able to crank out 20 miles of outdoor cycling recently, without even thinking about it! That’s how I knew I found a sliver of peace.
Additionally, to take away the power of our unfinished business, it helps to (you guessed it), finish the unfinished business! Just like in classic ghost stories, that ghoul will not be able to rest until things are resolved. There are some things that we simply can’t or shouldn’t ignore, and should instead just dive in and finish. Something like laundry can probably wait (especially since laundry is truly neverending). Other things, like making amends with friends or loved ones, like preparing to vote, and self-care items, may need to be done now.
As with all things in life, it comes down to finding your personal balance and prioritizing in a way that works for you.
Unfinished business will likely be around to haunt us as long as we live. The best we can do is try to tackle our goals in a way that takes care of the big stuff before we become the next ghost story. If not, then hopefully someone will pay heed to our flickering lights and ghostly writing on the wall, and lend us a helping hand.
Happy October, everyone! Subscribe to Travel Therapy (with the box at the bottom of the page) to get more fall and Halloween-themed posts throughout this month!
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